Something To Think About…

It took me a couple of weeks to write this post, because I wanted to make sure that I got it right. I had to let it marinate for a minute. After a particularly grueling day, personally, a couple of weeks ago, I came in to the shop to find this note laying on the floor. It had been pushed through the mail slot by someone who was obviously #tickedoff at me for not being here.

At first I got pretty mad and wanted to scream at the faceless, genderless, writer of the note that wouldn’t they really like to know where I was? In the next moment I realized that it was not their fault, and that I “got it.” That person might have driven from way on the other side of Gurnee or Zion to get here, and they had no clue why I wasn’t here…they just knew that I wasn’t and I’m pretty sure they got pissed about it. I would have, too….for a minute…if I were them.

I also got a couple of voicemail messages from two customers who came by that week and found me gone with no note on the door. They figured that surely something was wrong if a small business is closed mid-week with no note on the door…they wanted to make sure I was alright. That warmed my heart. They “got” it. It also took away some of the sting of that note.

Here’s something most people don’t think about when they go to a small business and the doors are closed during their normal, open hours…there may have been an emergency.

Small business owners fight every single day to stay in business. We do all that we can for our customers. Many times we don’t get much sleep or any personal time for days…even weeks…in service of our customers. Oh, and that thing most people look forward to every Friday called a paycheck, is often times some kind of far off dream, because there are things that we need to get for the shop, so we make that our priority. Oh yes, we are most always the last to get paid too…if there is anything left to pay ourselves with, that is.

We don’t complain, because this is what we’ve chosen in life and we get many other benefits from being self-employed, but it’s not an easy road for sure. So as you can imagine, a small business owner would rather do anything other than having to close the shop doors during regular hours, because we have so much on the line.

We try very hard to schedule things before and after hours, but unfortunately, the world works on a schedule, too, and there are times when we have to be at the doctor or dentist, at our kid’s school to pick them up, because they’re sick, or any other number of reasons we could be gone. Just like you, we will get called away from work…we’re human.  Sometimes it’s as simple as our kid has a very special something going on and we’ve decided that for this one time, our kid takes precedence. I’ve done it…and I don’t feel bad about it. I want my son to always remember that I showed up when it was important…not that my store was more important than him. It’s quite a balancing act to be sure and something no small business owner takes lightly.

So what was I doing on that Tuesday afternoon at 4pm? What made it necessary for me to stay away from the shop that day and leave in such a hurry that I never even thought to come and put a note on the door? What made me cause that person to experience a #wasteoftime? What could have been so important for me to inconvenience this person and others who may have come by over those couple of days?

I was in the hospital, at my brother’s side, as he heard the devastating news that he has Stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to his brain. I was there doing all that I could to support him, his family, and most especially my elderly father, who never, ever, should have had to hear news like that about his child.

Please, take a moment to consider that the next time you show up at a small business and the door is locked during normal hours. Think about that first, before you’re feeling like you want to write a nasty note or leave a nasty voicemail. We are human beings with human tragedies and responsibilities just like you and everyone else. The last thing we’d ever want to do is disappoint you, but there are times when that may be inevitable.

There are times in life that you just have to show up. This is one of those times for me. Here’s a fair warning, too, over the next several weeks you may come to the shop and find me gone again, although this time I’ve put a general note on the door to explain my absence. I can guarantee here and now that if my family needs me…I’m there…and I’m apologizing in advance to you.

And for the person who wrote the note. If you would have left your name and number I might have had an opportunity to explain and make it up to you, but you never gave me the chance.

 

Epilog: August 3, 2014

My brother lost his fight with cancer today, just five short months after his diagnosis. He would have been 54 in nine days. I have never regretted, not once, the time that I spent with him, nor the few days I had to close my store to be with him. In two cases I helped him realize a dream to do something one more time before he died. I feel privileged  to have been able to do that for him, because he has done so much for me during my lifetime. I will miss him greatly, as will my entire family. He was a really good guy.

We also lost my Pop two months ago…my step-father of 40 years, whom I loved very much. When it rains, it pours. Great news…I was able to get help and we didn’t have to close the shop while we traveled to his service in Tennessee. Let’s just say that 2014 is a year that I’m ready to be rid of!

For those who feel the need to leave nasty or rude comments, or admonish me about, “how dare I close my store!”, I wish you peace and light. There is absolutely nothing more important to me than my family. Nothing. If you can’t understand that, I feel sorry for you. You must be very lonely, indeed.

Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Fair warning.

Being A Mother Is Where This All Started…A Mother’s Day Reflection

It’s funny how things happen in life sometimes. How an idea can turn into an opportunity at the drop of a hat…when you least expect it. As I sit here planning for the Mother’s Day weekend ahead, and the sixteenth anniversary of my first business, The Button Lady, I find myself reflecting on how that business started and how it led to starting this business. It’s a story that some may know, because I’m proud to tell it.

Seventeen years ago my love affair with Warren Township and our beloved mascot, the Blue Devil, began. Well, to be honest, the love affair started sixteen years ago when the football program changed from the Gagewood Packers to the Warren Township Blue Demons. Being a lifelong Chicago Bears fan I was none to happy to be cheering for the “Packers!” If you know me, then you would consider this a more than valid statement! 🙂

I was so proud of my little man…he was a BEAST on the Warren Township football fields…a true athlete. So proud that I wanted to scream it to the world, so I made a button with his name and number on it and wore it proudly to all practices for about a week when one of our team moms asked me where I got the button and I told her I made it. After hearing that she offered me $1.00 a piece to make one for each kid on the team. Sure I would…it would pay for the button maker I had bought!

I told the story to my friend, Donna, who was I was team mom with the year prior, and she promptly ordered them for her team and encouraged me to go to the team mom meeting and offer them to all of the players. Long story short…I sold over 1,000 buttons without even trying to other proud moms in the Warren Township football and cheerleading programs. One thousand buttons! Wow! What would happen if I tried? So the next year I went out and tried and sold 5,000 buttons!

That next year led to some referrals, that let to me being invited to sell buttons at a cheerleading competition in Antioch…and the rest, as they say, is history. Now a sixteen year history being one of the area’s pioneers in cheerleading vending, and sixteen years of making friends and building relationships with other proud parents of athletes.

All because I was a mother who was so proud of her son and wanted everyone to know it.

I continued selling at competitions…kept my day job…and went back to school to learn what I needed to run a business. Fast forward to 2004 and Designs On You became a reality with the support of all my Warren Township, and cheerleading, friends and customers…and we haven’t looked back.

You can thank the cheerleaders of northern Illinois and southern Wisconsin for our focus on super-cute spiritwear. After being disappointed year after year with the woman’s selection of spiritwear at the township, I really started to notice the cute stuff all of the cheerleaders were wearing. They were so spirited and cute…and in their colors! At that time if apparel was geared towards the women, and it rarely, if ever was, the only thing they’d do is put it on pink and think it was great. Sorry…the pink was gross and THAT’S NOT OUR COLOR!!

Our goal became to find super-cute stuff in team colors that any girl, young or old, would be happy to wear…excited to wear…and I think we’ve done a pretty exceptional job.

The ladies of Lake County can thank that one little beast on the football field boy, for sporting the cutest spiritwear around!

All because he called me Mom…

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Something Happened In California That I’ll Never Forget…

I’ve been putting off writing about this for over a month, but it just keeps eating away at me. It’s not that I even necessarily want to think about it anymore, or relive it again, but I just can’t let it go and I know that it might just save one life…so I have to put my feelings aside and tell you the story.

As you may or may not know, I recently took a trip to California. The first part of the trip was a four day industry intensive trade show full of workshops, vendors, and seminars. The second leg of the trip consisted of site visits at two of our California vendors and a couple of days with family since I was already there and I couldn’t see the vendors until Friday…it all worked out so perfectly and I was so excited to be doing all of it.

I hope I look this good and have this much energy when I'm 79!

The day the trade show ended I drove down to my cousin’s house to spend the night and then went off to visit her mom, my seventy-nine year old Aunt Millie. What a fireball my aunt is! She about had me wore out at the end of each day…she’s a ball of energy…and oh how we did laugh! We learned that we both loved to play cards, and we’re both competitive, so we tore up the kitchen table with some Rummy 500 and Skeebo!

On my second day with her we went down to San Diego to take the trolley tour and learn a little of San Diego’s history…and boy did we! It was such a fun filled day walking about old San Diego, having lunch on Coronado Island, and then enjoying fresh, homemade flour tortillas with a little butter, streetside, before we drove home. It couldn’t have been a more perfect day.

The third, and my last day there, we drove up into the mountains to Julian. What an awesome little town…and I mean little, just about a block and a half long! We walked around in all the shops and then had lunch at Mom’s, who served one of the best rhubarb strawberry pies I’ve ever had! It actually tasted like rhubarb and not just strawberry. It reminded me of the pies my grandma used to make me. 🙂

On our way home it started to rain. We drove home on Wildcat Canyon Road, a curvy and dangerous stretch of highway. As we made our way along we came upon a really bad car accident. There was a little silver car that was smashed into a tree in the front and was hit by a big truck on the passenger side…it was crumpled like an accordion. We could tell that it had just happened moments before as everyone was just standing there with bewildered looks on their faces. We were there before any police or fire department as shown in this newspaper photo.

As I looked at the scene, still about fifty feet away, I noticed an aqua hoody hanging over the driver’s side door, where the window was rolled all the way down. It struck me odd that a hoody would be placed so gently over that opening where so much destruction had just occurred.

When we got closer I realized that there was a hand coming out of the sleeve that was hanging there…and there was a dark haired head underneath the hood that had fallen forward. I knew by the color and style of the hoody that the body belonged to a young girl of probably 16-20 years old. At that minute I hated my job that made me know so much about that hoody and who would be wearing it…and all I could think of was the mother who was going to get that phone call…and I began to pray for her.

Her name was Amanda Jean Blessum and she was nineteen years old. A beautiful young girl who lost her life that day, on January 23rd, 2012…and a family who now bears a heartache I can’t even begin to imagine. I know you’re probably thinking that she was texting or on the phone and the accident happened that way…that’s what I immediately thought, too, but we’re both wrong. Amanda wasn’t texting or talking on the phone. She didn’t even have a phone with her. Here’s the tragic thing…she was speeding on a wet road, lost control, and she wasn’t wearing a seat belt. She was going too fast around a turn and her car hydroplaned. Speeding and no seat belt. It makes me so sad that this all could have been avoided.

How many times did you speed as a teenager, or even now as an adult, and not think about it. How many times does your teen get in the car without putting their seat belt on thinking that nothing will ever happen to them. I’ll bet Amanda didn’t think anything would happen to her, either.

Here’s why I struggled with telling you this story. It’s sad. It’s tragic. It’s something we don’t want to talk about. My hope is that you’ll take a moment and use this as a talking point with any teenager you know…be it your own, your nieces and nephews, or your friends and neighbors. I wish every teen could see these photos and know that something can happen to them. A consequence that they never really thought would happen when you speed or don’t wear a seat belt, really does exist…just ask Amanda’s mom.

I don’t want any mother, father, grandparent, brother or sister ever to have to feel this kind of loss. I will never forget Amanda Jean Blessum as long as I live even though I never met her. I will continue to tell every young person I know about her for as long as there is breath in me and I remember the story. I hope the blessing in her loss is that  more will live when they hear about her.

 

Blessum photos from the Ramona Sentinel.

 

Groovy Through The Ages

Still Groovy After All These Years!

Back when I was a kid, in the sixties and seventies, we didn’t have big wheels, video games, cell phones, a mall, or money to go to a mall. It really was a simpler time when gangs of kids would find stuff to do that was safe, fun, creative, and would generally involve every age group on the block. We used to have bike parades and some really awesome sidewalk carnivals! My girlfriend, Shirley, was obsessed with Johnny Carson and we would play “Tonight Show” all the time. I could never get the Johnny role and was always relegated to the Ed McMahon role!

One thing that we did quite often was tie dye shirts. Kids from blocks around would come and tie dye together…kindergarteners and high schoolers…although the older dudes beat out quickly…who the heck wanted to hang out with little kids! AND…we didn’t say “dude” back then either! I remember preparing big buckets of Rit dye with my sister, my friend Shirley, and her sister…banding the shirts, dunking, and then the long, long, long and impatient wait to rinse it out the next day – usually much too early, because we couldn’t wait! Oh, the beautiful creations we did produce…as with the times…soooo groovy!

My love for tie dye, and the times in which I grew up, has transcended every decade of my life since…I’ve never stopped wearing tie dye and I’ve never stopped saying groovy, funky, or far out. Ask any of my long time friends and they’ll tell you…I was groovy when groovy wasn’t cool!  Thus my passion for creating a fun, groovy, and far out experience for my customers who join us for tie dye classes!

You’d think that tie dye started in the 60s and 70s, but would you be surprised to learn that the origins of tie dye go as far back as sixth century with it’s roots in India, Japan and Africa among others? One of the oldest techniques still practiced today is the Indian technique called Bandhani. In the early day the dyes were comprised from things such as bark, onions, flowers, leaves and berries; silk and hemp were the favorite fabrics of the day. Those dyes are sometimes still used today, however now there are formulated synthetic dyes that are more colorfast, reliable and controllable, and the most common fabric used is cotton.

Early tie dye use in America is traced back to the 20s and 30s during the depression when women would dye flour sacks and then turn the material into clothing, draperies, and other household items. It’s said that the colorful dyes brought brightness to such a dark time. In the 60s an executive at Best Foods, which owned the Rit brand, persuaded his bosses to let him market the dyes. He went door to door in Greenwich Village where he was hoping that the young artist community would embrace the dyes…and they did. Through his marketing he turned a broken brand into the vehicle that the youth of the day, who were seeking ways to display their individuality and buck the system, used to do just that. Everywhere you looked in the 60s and 70s celebrities and the “every-man” were rockin’ the tie dye…marching to the beat of their own drummer…it was a revolution!  And we just thought it was a fun way to spend an afternoon…who knew? Keep rockin’ the tie dye and stay groovy…!

Tie Dye Fun!

Family Fun!